If You Can't Say Something Nice

For some reason or other, there are people in our lives it is difficult to write about. We may love them; in fact we may love them too much. Telling the truth about our relationship and history may be one of the hardest things we've ever done.

I immediately thought of this when Andria shared, "I hope I can also one day write about my own mother in such a peaceful, tender way." And I realized that we put off the writing until we feel it is purer, higher, kinder. Yet telling the truth of our feelings is where the power lies for a writer.

Don't wait until you have "something nice to say." If you find frustration rising about a person or character, let that onto the page. If anger or resentment or confusion accompany every line, let it be.

Like most people, I have relationships and relatives I can't quite figure out - and I wish I could show these characters in a kinder light. But I must write about them, even while my ways of relating are not yet resolved.

And, by the way--I get asked all the time--changing names (yours, theirs, or both) for publication purposes is a must.

What challenging relationship have you not written about? Put something down on paper.


  1. Thank you, Christi. It's painful stuff, writing about these people we struggle with. But you're right, naturally. We shouldn't wait until we have something nice to say. Thank you for reminding me that the truth is crucial for writing as well as healing. Shalom.

  2. Thanks Vicky.

    Andria, funny but I was just posting today's thought - and it reminded me just how painful the writing can be. Sometimes when I'm away from it I forget.


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